Grade: B+

Since I seem to be on this Jayne Ann Krentz kick, I will enlighten you today with my review of Family Man starring Luke Gilchrist and Katy Wade. I read this book when I was in high school and have read it several times since then, but the last time I read it was a few months ago, so I will be reviewing it from memory. How do you like that? Seriously, Jayne Ann Krentz seems to be the only author (okay, except for Bill Shakespeare, but only because I once took an entire class dedicated to him) whose characters and plot points I can remember with crystal clarity. You could argue that this is because JAK is famous for recycling her characters and just giving them different names, but I prefer to think that it’s because she kicks ass and writes memorable stories, so fuck off. Jayne Ann Krentz can do no wrong with me. Wait… actually, that’s not true. I read an old Harlequin/MIRA one of hers once and it was about a cowboy named Case McCord and some girl whose name I can’t remember and she gets pregnant and leaves him because he doesn’t want to marry her, so he goes after her, and I think they get married, but I didn’t finish it, so I don’t fucking know for sure. Anyway, I really dig Family Man because the Gilchrists are fucked up, melodramatic people worse than the Castletons and Lightfoots. I think there even might have been a kinky incest thing between Eden and Darren Gilchrist, just like it is between Angie and James, but I could have been imagining it, too, and I smoked a lot of pot in high school. I mean, A LOT. Like I’d be sitting in American Lit, talking about Faulkner and shit, completely blazed out of my mind. And by “I” and “me”, I meant my friend, Jeremy, because I have never smoked marijuana in my entire life and don’t even know what it looks like, so don’t call me the second you read this, Mother, because you know how I get confused sometimes and think that stuff happened to me when they really happened to Jeremy.

Our heroine, Katy Wade (no, it’s not Kate, it’s KATY), is an unmarried woman trying to raise her little brother Matt (he’s in high school) because they’re orphans and I’m pretty sure it was because their parents died in a car accident and not during an eco-terrorist mission. She works for Justine Gilchrist, the owner of Gilchrist Inc, as her personal assistant and part-time mediator for Gilchrist squabbles. Katy’s mother, a Quinlan, who comes from a very wealthy family, was supposed to marry What’s-His Name Gilchrist, Justine Gilchrist’s son, so that their two companies could merge. Unfortunately, What’s-His-Name falls in love with his secretary or something, and runs away with her, leaving Katy’s mother at the altar (she marries someone else and lives happily ever… okay, until they die in a car accident), which destroys the potential merger, causing Katy’s grandfather’s company to fail, and now Katy and Matt are kind of poor, so Justine felt sorry for them and offered Katy a job. Ever the martyr, Katy has spent the last ten years of her life slaving away for Justine and the Gilchrists, while taking care of her brother, and putting off her own plans to open her own restaurant. But now, Katy is sick and tired and she’s not going to take it anymore, so she tells Justine that she’s ready to leave, and Justine reluctantly agrees, but only if Katy would hunt down and bring home Justine’s prodigal grandson, Luke Gilchrist. Dun-dun-dun!

Luke Gilchrist… mmm-mmm-mmm… Luke Gilchrist. He’s tall, dark, handsome, and angry! And bitter! Luke is also an orphan, as well as a widower (his wife was this melodramatic bitch type who enjoyed making him jealous). His father was the one who was supposed to marry Katy’s mother, but he fell in love with his secretary, Luke’s mother, and ditched Katy’s mom at the altar. Asshole. What kind of cowardly prick would he have to have been not to call up Katy’s mom… oh, I don’t know… hours before she had to go to church, and tell her that the wedding’s off? Anyway, Justine disinherits Luke’s dad for being a cowardly prick, and Luke vows never to return to the Gilchrist fold. EVER. Umm… is that it, though? Is there something I’m not remembering? The reason that Luke is pissed at the Gilchrists was because Justine disinherited his dad for running away with his mom? Weren’t his parents happy together? Hmm… I guess I’d get pissed, too, if my grandma took away my inheritance. Where was I? Oh, right, Luke. Yeah, so he’s like determined not to go back to the Gilchrist fold even after he notices that someone is majorly embezzling money from the company, that is until Katy Wade shows up at his door, lecturing him about moral responsibility and familial obligations, yada-yada-yada. He wants to bone her. Like right away. And so he goes back because he thinks it would better his chances of getting into Katy’s pants. Sweet!

Much like every other Jayne Ann Krentz book, family plays a huge part in this story. We’ve seen this previously in Perfect Partners, Trust Me, Absolutely Positively, The Golden Chance, The Grand Passion, Wildest Hearts, and I could go on forever, baby, but that would mean linking every single one of them, so no thanks. I’m a little fuzzy on the names of the members of the Gilchrist clan, so bear with me here. We’ve got: Justine Gilchrist, the unyielding matriarch who does not forgive and disinherits family members at will; Hayden Gilchrist, the “tortured artist” type son who is awful at being a corporate anything, but does not want to reveal his passion for art to his mother for fear of being disinherited; Maureen Gilchrist, Hayden’s wife, who was a former art curator, and now protects Hayden from Justine, but is also afraid that Justine will find out that Hayden has no interest in Gilchrist Inc and disinherit their children for punishment; Eden Gilchrist, Maureen’s daughter, who was married to Nate Atwood, Katy’s ex-boyfriend, and a total drama queen who is secretly being blackmailed by Nate Atwood, but she won’t say anything about it in fear that Justine will find out and disinherit her; and last but not the least, Darren Gilchrist, who just wants to prove to Justine that he can run the company and be her successor, only he sucks and is a little naïve when it comes making business decisions, so Justine just laughs at him. All of them are afraid that once Luke Gilchrist comes back to take over the reins, they will all be swept aside by Justine, and Luke will be the sole heir. None of them trust Luke because they think that he’s plotting something awful that will crush Gilchrist Inc as a part of his revenge, so they ask Katy to spy on him for them. But she doesn’t. ‘Cause Katy has morals and principles and she totally wants to bone Luke.

Enough family drama, let’s get to Luke and Katy. These two are totally hot together. Every scene they have together is very hot, because Luke very much wants to bone Katy, so that every time he sees her, he pretty much gets an erection, but Kate is reluctant to get involved with a Gilchrist because she thinks Gilchrists are assholes. Seriously, she has like a long lists of Gilchrist generalizations, like, they all like to wear black; they’re all assholes; they’re all melodramatic; they are all very passionate. Besides, she doesn’t want to get sucked into the Gilchrist drama more than she already is because she wants to leave the company and thinks that if she gets involved with Luke, she will never be able to escape. And dude, doesn’t that make sense? I wouldn’t want to get involved with a crazy ass family like that, either. I’m glad Katy has valid, logical reasons for not wanting to get involved with Luke Gilchrist, instead of just saying shit like “I don’t sleep with men I don’t love” or “He’s too passionate for me and I’m dead inside and I will never be able to please him… Oh, someone hold me!”. No, Katy doesn’t want to worry about shit like that. In fact, JAK heroines never worry about shit like that. They worry about other things, but nothing stops them from fucking the hero because JAK heroes are damn sexy.

What’s awesome, though, is that Katy has developed all sorts of hang-ups in the ten years she has worked for the Gilchrists, so at every opportunity, she would throw them in Luke’s face, and it gets to be pretty funny… okay, and annoying, but mostly funny. Luke and Katy have lots of witty bantering and some pretty hot sex scenes. Katy is very wary of Luke, so Luke has to work pretty hard to get her to thaw out, even though she’s very attracted to him. He follows her around, sticks her in a position where she would have to serve him (not like that, you whores), and pretty much bullies her around, but Katy won’t be bullied, damn it. She holds her own pretty well against him and I totally dig the way she defends him to the Gilchrists.

In between all of that, there are various Gilchrists telling Katy that Luke is only using her, her brother Matt telling Katy that Luke is only using her, Justine berating Luke for not updating her about all the changes he’s making in the company, and Luke rescuing various Gilchrists because they’re all morons and I don’t know how they could have survived all those years without Luke. Oh, right, Katy. Yeah, she’s a martyr, alright, but she only because she genuinely likes to help, and not because she’s a spineless twit. She is unafraid tell them off when she needs to, but I don’t know, I think she just can’t stop herself from wanting to help. Mainly this is Katy’s problem. She just wants to help everyone, completely neglecting herself, and if I were her, I would have totally gone DFENS on their asses, and started carrying a bat.

Anyway, that’s all I can really remember about this book. Forgive me, dear readers, if I messed anything up. It’s been a while and my memory is not what it used to be. I do remember a wacky throw-away villain who was the only one who could be the villain because he practically announces at the beginning that he is the villain. Also, there’s a pretty hot scene with Katy and Luke in the office where Luke suggests afterwards that Katy should start leaving panties in his desk drawer. That’s awesome. By the way, if you like this book, check out Mackenzie Taylor’s My One and Only. It’s practically the same story, I think. Except without the crazy Gilchrists, but really, what’s the fun in that?

By the way, my father came across my blog the other day, read some of my entries, and asked me to tone it down a bit because I might come across as vulgar and unladylike. Do I seem that way to you?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 17th, 2005 at 11:01 am and is filed under Books, Grade: B, Romance: Contempo. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.