Is he trying to eat her nose here? That is just the most awkward lip-lock I have ever seen! It’s like he just closed his eyes and decided to go for it, but like a nervous seventh grader, he’s just trying to chew her face off. The poor female cover model! I bet she’s trying very hard not show disgust on her face, but she’s really thinking, “Oh, God, I can’t believe this fool is slobbering all over my face. I can’t feel spit on my cheek. And ugh! Did he have French onion soup for lunch or something?” Dude, this totally looks like an awkward first date kiss. Maybe he was just so nervous that he missed her face entirely, but he looks like he’s trying to lick her eyeball.

And I don’t know what homeboy is going for in this second picture, but it looks like one of them cheek-to-cheek European kisses. Maybe he’s also whispering to her, “Ma cherie, you smell like freshly churned butter” or some shit like that. Anyway, it’s too bad that we can’t see the female cover model’s face, but it would be totally awesome if she turned around, and we saw that half of our face is totally robotic and she’s like a cyborg and shit like the Terminator. Maybe she was sent from the future to kill him, so he would stop spreading STDs to the women of Continental America and Europe. He totally looks like a slut.

ETA: Maybe I did mean “nose hair”. Thanks, Doug!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 at 10:15 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.