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Arsenic-Laced Cupcake Queen, You Mean!

Oh, dude, don’t eat it! Do you want to end up like this lady? Just look at the smug look on that woman’s face! How can you eat anything given to you by a woman looking that smug? It’s like she’s thinking, “Heh-heh-heh… eat it, sucker! It’s only laced with enough rat poison to kill the entire cast of American Tail! Didn’t I tell you that I’d get back at you for making me sleep you in exchange for you financing my cupcake-making business after you were the one who ruined it in the first place because I was dating your brother and you didn’t think I was good enough for him? Did you actually think that I fell in love with you after Our One Night Together that resulted in the current bun in my oven? Fool!” But heck, maybe it’s laced with powdered sleeping pills, instead. After he falls asleep, she’ll tie him up to a bed and smash his ankles with a sledgehammer. Good times!

ETA: I couldn’t stop myself. I had to buy it. I have to know what made the editor or the writer title this book “The Cupcake Queen”.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 at 12:01 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses to “Arsenic-Laced Cupcake Queen, You Mean!”

  1. Michael K
    Posted: Oct 19th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
    1

    I so want a cupcake now!

  2. Aly
    Posted: Oct 19th, 2005 at 5:32 pm
    2

    This lady in my town put rat poison in her husband’s sandwich! Lol. That was too familiar.

  3. Anhoni Patel
    Posted: Oct 19th, 2005 at 5:50 pm
    3

    If there’s rat poison in the cupcake, I think the jilted brother left him a little treat on top…

  4. Darla
    Posted: Oct 20th, 2005 at 5:03 am
    4

    Had a few different reactions to this one, so I figured I’d just post them all.

    Comment option #1:
    Is it just me, or is her right boob positioned/shaped oddly? Or is that her arm?

    Comment option #2:
    True story: years ago, my mother-in-law asked me to get her a “cupcake mix” and when I presented her with a cake mix, she looked at me like I was an idiot. So I’m thinking maybe my m-i-l was on to something, and that’s how this woman got to be the cupcake queen: special cupcake mix.

    Comment option #3:
    This is another one of those stories where a heroine ends up becoming a multi-millionaire by baking a few cupcakes in her kitchen at home in her spare time, right? No, don’t tell me. I’d rather imagine that she’s just discovered a secret society of cupcakes existing in the back room of a bakery, and the cupcakes made her their queen.

    Comment option #4:
    I just took that stupid Muffin Test on Quizilla, and it said I was a cupcake. I may be a cupcake, but she ain’t my queen.

  5. Bam
    Posted: Oct 20th, 2005 at 9:14 am
    5

    Darla, you crack me up. I especially liked #3.

  6. SpikeDru
    Posted: Oct 24th, 2005 at 2:11 pm
    6

    I’ve worked out who she reminds me of: Kathleen Turner in War of the Roses. You just know she’s using a spcial ingredient in her cupcakes.

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