You know what would be awful? If you woke up in a dark room with your wrists and ankles tied up and a gag ball in your mouth. I know some of you pervs out there would dig that shit, but that’s why you keep coming back to my site.

I’m talking about the high-powered, no-nonsense career woman who is running Daddy’s company now that he’s dead and trying to prove to the world that the little Princess can hack it in Wall Street. Unfortunately, she sucks at it and the business is floundering, but for some ungodly reason, refuses to sell the company to a playboy billionaire cowboy corporate raider. The playboy thinks the Princess is “plucky” and “feisty”, but she is also drowning in red ink, so he believes it is up to him to save her and her company. The solution? Marry her, of course! So one day, while she’s walking to her car, he’ll kidnap her, shoot her with horse tranquilizer, stick her in the trunk of his car, and fly them to the Bahamas for a quickie wedding before she can even come to her senses. Throughout the book, he’ll try to convince her that theirs was a whirlwind courtship and that she was the one who insisted on the quickie wedding. The reason she can’t remember the wedding, he’ll reason, is post-traumatic stress disorder from running her father’s company to the ground.

What the bride should have said was, “I want an annulment, you controlling, manipulative psycho! If you don’t let me go now, I’ll take a bowie knife and slit you from navel to nose.”

Thanks to the wacky Amber for this cover.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 30th, 2006 at 9:07 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.