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When You’re Starving, There’s No Such Thing as Dignity

Hades has always been my favorite Greek god and I have always liked books that feature him as the hero. P.C. Cast’s version of Hades seriously kicks ass, for example. He’s all dark and broody and growly, but deep inside, he’s just this big softie looking for a sweetie to love him. Sigh. P.C. Cast writes a good beast. And her books also have the best fucking covers. I swear, she must have sold her soul to the devil or something to get such hot covers. I can’t attest for this writer’s talent, but you know what this book doesn’t have in common with P.C.’s books? A hot cover. First of all, I don’t know how often gods bathed or if there’s fresh water in Tartarus, but I’m pretty sure Persephone would have made Hades take a shower once in a while. I mean, look at how nasty, lank, and greasy this dude’s hair looks. How is that sexy? Also, couldn’t the photographer haver scouted for a better location for the shooting other than her neighborhood park? How freaked out the kids and their parents must have been when they saw this dirty-looking blond dude walking around wearing nothing but a ratty green towel like he’s in between takes for a gay porno he’s starring in. Dear God, look at how hairless he is. Don’t tell me he spent the time and money for the electrolysis to get the hair off of his body, but he can’t even buy shampoo and wash his hair?

Well let’s see what this author has the beloved Greek god doing now:

When Annalise purchases some old journals from an internet auction site, she never imagines the stories within the books will come to life or speak to her soul the way they do. There’s something about the story of Hades and his ancient love that calls out to an empty place inside her, a place she has attempted to fill her entire life. When she reads the journals, she does so much more than uncover a tale of the past, she uncovers her past and the woman she once was. Now, she knows she has to find the man who was once the god of the dead.

Hades has made a few mistakes in his time, and now he has a chance to right those wrongs. He hopes the journals are enough to pull Annalise into his world and allow him to make peace with the past. Only her love can save him.

Huh. This is a total case of caveat emptor. You should really watch out what you buy from Ebay. One minute you think you totally lucked out on some really cool shit and the next, you’re staring at some General Hospital reject who tells you that he’s channeling Dr. Sam Beckett. And asks you if you’ve got a dollar to spare ’cause he’s totally jonesing for Taco Bell.

P.S. I thought Hades was Zeus’ older brother, not his son!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 6th, 2006 at 7:09 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “When You’re Starving, There’s No Such Thing as Dignity”

  1. web
    Posted: Jun 6th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
    1

    Freaky! I’m amazed he hasn’t eaten his own pecs.

  2. Anonymous
    Posted: Jun 6th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
    2

    Okay, this is a comment about the series’ title “Sons of Zeus”- Hades & Poseidon are their brothers of Zeus - all three boys are the sons of Cronus. Why oh why didn’t someone fact-check this little bit. It’s in every freaking mythology book, even the kiddy ones.

  3. Ames
    Posted: Jun 6th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
    3

    That is one freakily thin dude! Eww. And I noticed he looks a wee bit translucent above the towel. Is that because he is so thin?

  4. Katie
    Posted: Jun 6th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
    4

    BAHAHA I don’t think they got a single thing right or…not against God and nature and all that is good in the world. I’m still cracking up at the visual of driving by a park and seeing this greasy wad of man contracting his abs into oblivion and trying to look sexy.

  5. Mary
    Posted: Jun 7th, 2006 at 4:51 am
    5

    ewww….look at his VEINS! they’re everywhere! he doesn’t even have the excuse of massive body building to excuse those bulging pieces of grossness. I think that maybe he’s not really the lord of the underworld. More like the lord of the crack whores. Looking at him makes me want to bleach my eyes.

  6. Shuzluva
    Posted: Jun 7th, 2006 at 9:18 am
    6

    Mary - I noticed the veins too! They’re horrible! Maybe he’d look better with his clothes on, after a shower with soap and shampoo. If I want something greasy and veiny, I can just stop at McDonalds!

  7. Katerina
    Posted: Jun 7th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
    7

    Well, since we’re fact-checking and all, Hades is the PLACE people go to after they die according to Greek mythology, whereas the actual god of the underworld and brother to Zeus and Poseidon is called Pluto.

  8. Bam
    Posted: Jun 7th, 2006 at 6:28 pm
    8

    Hades is the PLACE people go to after they die according to Greek mythology, whereas the actual god of the underworld and brother to Zeus and Poseidon is called Pluto.

    Technically, Hades is also his name. It is the name of the underworld and his name. Pluto is his other name, but it’s mostly associated with Roman mythology.

    Sorry. I’m reading this crap right now and it’s all I can think about. I’m contemplating drowning myself in the toilet.

  9. Jackie
    Posted: Jun 8th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
    9

    That’s right — Hades is Zeus’s brother, not his son, damn it! And, um, what’s with the white splotch on the side of his body? Did they run out of pigment?

    Give me tall, dark (well, redheaded) and handsome any day…

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