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Which One is the Beast?

Umm… hmm… I know which one of these people is the nanny. She’s the Helen Slater cloned mixed with a dash of Perry Reeves for flavoring standing next to the dude and the infant with a beatific smile on her face, right? Do you know what that smile says? That smile says “I have found my purpose in life. No longer shall I sob over a bucket of Rocky Road while watching old black and white movies, then cry myself to sleep every night. I was born to be a wife AND a mother… and now I am.” Yep, we know exactly who the nanny is. But who is the beast? Is it the little chubby-cheeked infant? My eyes aren’t as sharp as they used to be, so I can’t tell if there’s a 666 on its fivehead. Hmm… maybe a glow-in-the-dark swastika pops up when you turn off the light. Creepy. I wonder if there’s a scene in this book where the baby causes the nanny to slip on some skates, causing her to almost break her neck, but the daddy catches her and they look into each other’s eyes and share their first kiss. The beast could also be the daddy. Maybe he’s a shapeshifter and he turns into a weasel on a full moon. Doesn’t this guy kind of look like the Aaron Burr milk commercial guy? Oh, he totally does. I’m totally freaked out by the slightly unhinged smile on his face. It looks like he wants to toss the baby across the room. Maybe he’s a Bluebeard type of guy who keeps raped and mutilated nannies in the basement. Oh, he’s totally not. You know he’s just a stick-in-the-mud guy who gets stuck with a baby, so he hires an outgoing, happy-go-lucky woman as a nanny (most likely a woman who just got dumped by her husband because she’s unable to have kids, but as it turns out, he was the one who had malfunctioning reproductive organs), and she changes his life forever. Sigh.

Thanks to Amber for this cover!

This entry was posted on Monday, July 10th, 2006 at 2:05 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

10 Responses to “Which One is the Beast?”

  1. Shuzluva
    Posted: Jul 10th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
    1

    What? No machetes?

    All the pinks, blues, yellows and turquoise(s) on this cover scream beast to me. And the beast is obviously the plastic surgeon that did all of their noses, even that babys!

  2. Anonymous
    Posted: Jul 10th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
    2

    Judging by the way the title is positioned, I think the beast is the husband. What I can decipher from this is that the husband is either a werewolf or a wifebeater. Either way, the nanny and the baby are screwed.

  3. Evangeline Anderson
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 12:14 am
    3

    He’s thinking, “I love babies, but I can’t eat a whole one.” lol
    Bam, I went and saw Superman Returns again tonight. I think I am addicted to BR. If I was Bryan Singer, I would totally have made him work for that role on the casting couch. I would make him put on the Superman outfit and…Oh, I think I need to go write this down somewhere. Superman porn anyone?
    Whoopse, sorry, I kinda got off target there.
    Um, it’s a very nice cover if you like that kinda thing. Which I don’t
    Evangeline

  4. fiveandfour
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 1:12 am
    4

    Superman porn anyone?

    Yes, please. If it can involve James Marsden’s character (Richard, was it? Too busy staring into his eyes and noticing the nifty cheekbones to pay much attention) so much the better.

    And I was thinking the guy was eerily like the dude who had 2 families - one on each side of the lake - who explained his absences to each family with the old “traveling salesman” ruse. But he got caught out, or sort of anyway, by wife #1 dying (sniffle sniffle), leaving him with an infant to care for who he can’t leave alone and can’t take home to wife #2. Solution? A nanny, of course! If he picks one just innocent and gullible enough to install in the pseudo-mom position (and if she thinks she’s frigid thanks to ex-boyfriend’s own lack of skillz AND feels buckets of pity for the poor, poor widowed man, it’s even more perfect), it would look like he could be on his way to wife #3 and all his problems solved. Beast indeed.

  5. Devon
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 6:42 am
    5

    The guy on the cover reminds me of a young Charles Grodin. Man, I’ve seen “The Great Muppet Caper” one too many times lately. I love when he’s singing to Miss Piggy.

    I would love it if the baby was “The Beast”, but it’s probably the guy. He’s probably curmudgeonly, rather than evil. I like that word, curmudgeonly.

  6. LSB Author, Darragha Foster
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 7:46 am
    6

    I like the cover colors, and the man reminds me of a young Carey Elwas. At first glance, I think the cover is very eye-catching.

    Darragha

    PS The man is the nanny and the baby is the Beast.

  7. Danielle
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 10:41 am
    7

    The baby looks like a Marx brother in the making.

  8. L.E. Bryce
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
    8

    Hold on, is that nail polish on that guy’s nails? Geez, they look better than mine!

  9. sybil
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2006 at 9:11 pm
    9

    Hey you know Perry Reeves is David Duchovny exgirl friend and she was a vampire in the episode ‘Three’ in the third season and got it on with mulder.

    oh yes I am a dork

  10. Bam
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
    10

    I do know that, Syb. And I quite enjoyed that episode. I believe Perry Reeves also dated Nathan Fillion. She’s just a geek magnet all around.

    And you’re about as much of a dork as I am. Also, did you know that a dork is a whale’s penis?

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