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Where’s The Beef?

Damn… “all you can eat” makes me think of Chinese food buffets where I can stuff my face with wontons and egg rolls and moo-shu pork until I explode, but I suppose this man here is another kind of buffet… a buffet of manliness. Eww, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth as I typed that. There is just something completely unattractive about this man. I guess I should be happy that I don’t have to see his face and the dumbass Neanderthal expression that I would surely find there. There’s just something… greasy about this guy. While I enjoy a man in black underwear, he just seems like the kind of guy who’d wear button-down shirts with the buttons undone halfway down his chest, so we could see that ratty-ass mat of hair. Accessorized with a couple of heavy gold chains and a pendant that says “Sex Machine”. Eww. He’s probably also the kind of guy who’d wear jeans so tight (to lovingly cup the family jewels) that he’d need a pair of pliers to zip them up. Not to mention the bottles of Paco Rabanne that he probably bathes in on his way out of the house. God, my eyes are watering just thinking about it. Maybe he’s even the kind of guy who tells the ladies that he’s a “producer” or a “venture capitalist” because they sound impressive, but nobody actually knows what they are. I’m just glad that the font is covering his crotch or I’d probably be throwing up my breakfast.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 25th, 2006 at 8:58 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

13 Responses to “Where’s The Beef?”

  1. Sandie
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 10:18 am
    1

    Doesn’t it look like they air brushed a 6 pack on this dude?
    Cause its fuzzy around his left man-boob.

    I love the author’s name too…Briefs…thought I think said model is wearing bikini briefs…
    Sandie

  2. SpikeDru
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 10:23 am
    2

    He’s been combing his manly chest hair. And possibly applying brylcreem.

    Ew.

  3. Bam
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 10:32 am
    3

    I love the author’s name too…Briefs…thought I think said model is wearing bikini briefs…

    Silly Sandie, the author’s name is Megan Hart. :)

    I think “Amber Briefs” refers to the publisher, which is Amber Quill and the “briefs” part means it’s a shorter story.

    I think.

  4. Evangeline Anderson
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 10:34 am
    4

    I think sandie’s right–there’s nothing natural about that 6 pack. It’s airbrushed for sure. I normally like guys with a hairy chest (my hubby’s a big teddy bear) but this is off-putting to me because of the black stud muffin manpanties he has on. Ewww.
    Evangeline

  5. LSB Author, Darragha Foster
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 11:17 am
    5

    I need too more before I decide to drop my bucks for the buffet. Crap, I’m on Jenny Craig, anyway. Their plan doesn’t allow for stud muffins.

    Darragha

  6. Barbara B.
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 11:18 am
    6

    The body hair is disgusting and so are the black briefs. I hate briefs on a man. They seem more suited to a pre-teen boy.

    Bam, that was pretty funny about the Paco Rabanne. It also brought back some ridiculous memories.

  7. Robyn
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 11:21 am
    7

    I like me some fur, but that’s just gross. And he’s used his sister’s eyeliner to outline the six-pack. Understandable, but why outline your belly button too?

  8. Laura
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 4:07 pm
    8

    Those look suspiciously like a woman’s hi-cut briefs to me. I think he’s squished into girl panties.

  9. Bam
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 5:42 pm
    9

    Those look suspiciously like a woman’s hi-cut briefs to me

    Right on, Laura. Those are totally the panties you can get for free from Victoria’s Secret if you had a coupon. Or the ones you could get for 5 for $20. I’m serious. I bet homeboy has a serious wedgie that he’s just itching to pick.

  10. Wylie Kinson
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 7:47 pm
    10

    ROFL!! Oh man, Bam - you totally described some of the losers I dated in the late 80’s!
    Ahh, my tummy hurts from laughing…

  11. Lyn
    Posted: Jul 25th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
    11

    Reckon you’re right about the air brushed six pack. Seeing this brought instant images of those fella’s that haunt the beaches of the mediteranean.

    I bet the budgie-smugglers are g-strings too! Uuughh!

  12. Anonymous
    Posted: Jul 26th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
    12

    Poor Megan Hart. She needs to find new publishers. She is just cursed with the worst covers.

  13. Lauren Dane
    Posted: Jul 29th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
    13

    Lucky for Megan, she’s an amazing author and you can all see her beautiful covers on the three upcoming Spice novels she’s got releasing next year.

    Yeah, yeah, I’m her friend and all which makes me biased (not that she can control her covers or anything) but I’ve seen two of the three covers and they’re beautiful (and nary a merman in sight).

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