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Retire with Dignity, Dude!

Here’s a guy who’s definitely no longer a spring chicken. How many covers has this guy posed for? I swear, he’s like the go-to guy for Silhouette Desire covers. Does anybody know this guy’s name? Every time somebody needs a “rugged, masculine” guy who can wear a toolbelt and not look like a Village People member, they call this guy. He’s a little less disgusting than this guy, but you can tell that his boobs are already starting to sag. Ah, the life of a cover model. One minute you’re right up there with Fabio and the next you’re selling insurance in a commercial that parodies your hey-day (that thing is CLASSIC!). There’s just something about this guy that I can’t take seriously. He looks like somebody’s creepy uncle, the one who gets drunk and starts touching people in a bad way. Never mind that he’s holding a hammer and is trying to look useful. I bet he wouldn’t know the first thing about putting up drywall. Why is he shirtless, anyway? Those look like snow-capped mountains in the background. Where is he, Colorado? It’s pretty cold up there, right? I think this cover would have been better if dude had worn a shirt, maybe with the sleeves torn off or something. I can’t get over the saggy boobies. Still a good body, but you can tell it’s starting to go south. Too bad. And at least he’s not wearing daisy dukes or something. But he IS wearing mom jeans!

Thanks to Amber for the cover!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 at 1:06 pm and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “Retire with Dignity, Dude!”

  1. Nicolette
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
    1

    Out of curiousity…what would you say if male model showed up, presuming he could work a computer, and told you he was deeply hurt and saddened by your saggy titty comments?

    “C’mon, Bam! I’ll stack my mams up against yours any day of the week!” he writes. “I’m more than just a piece of meat…I have the soul of a poet!”

  2. Bam
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
    2

    Damn. You’re right, Nicolette. I didn’t think that male models could have feelings too. Damn my prejudice for making me assume that just because they pose for romance covers, it don’t mean that they don’t got a heart.

    I have been judged and found wanting. Color me suitably chastened.

    …NOT!

    Oh, hell, for all we know, this dude could be the President of Mensa. But then again, Sharon Stone is also a member of Mensa. Make of that what you will.

  3. Jackie
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
    3

    ::SPLUTTER::

    (Note to self: Do not read Bam’s comments when drinking anything…)

  4. E.Anderson
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
    4

    I believe I have said this before but at the last RT I met my share of male cover models and I assure you that none of them is Mensa material. None that I met, anyway. I did hear a rumor that one of the younger ones was a pre-med student but everytime I saw him he was trying to hide. Poor baby, I think all those rabid romance fans scared the bejezus out of him.
    : ) Evangeline

  5. Barbara B.
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 6:46 pm
    5

    Daisy Dukes? Freaking hilarious. What is it though with the saggy man titties? I’ve maintained my stupendous rack against all odds as well as the laws of gravity so it really shouldn’t be so hard for those guys.

  6. Kimber
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
    6

    There’s something vaguely reptilian about his four-pack. And what, exactly is the name of this book? “Last Dance”? “Freedom Valley”? “Man of the Month”? Seriously, there’s way too much type in different typefaces all over the place here.

    This cover reminds me of the adage: If the only tool you have is a hammer, pretty soon every problem comes to resemble a nail. I can just see this guy wandering around Colordo asking people, “Do you need me to hammer that? ‘Cause I got a hammer.”

  7. Tania
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
    7

    Is his bellybutton right beneath his ribcage? Because…most bellybuttons I’ve seen have been rather lower than that.

    And that’s a four-pack? I thought it was his ribcage.

  8. L.E. Bryce
    Posted: Aug 29th, 2006 at 11:23 pm
    8

    Darn! You already mentioned the Fabio parody insurance commercial, cause that’s the first thing I thought when I started reading this.

  9. Evangeline Anderson
    Posted: Aug 30th, 2006 at 5:39 am
    9

    Looking at this cover again, what I think I dislike the most is that damn smirky look on his face. He seems to be saying ‘Yeah, I’ll pound you baby. And you’ll be begging for more.’ He’s just a little too self satisfied for me. I hate cocky men. Evangeline

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