Deep Red Something

I’m a huge comic book fan. HUGE. And I love comic book parodies even more. In that respect, this cover succeeded in making me want to read the book. It also succeedeed in searing my retinas, but really, it’s certainly an eye-popper. When I saw this cover, I was curious enough about it to read the synopsis and the excerpt (Note: Barbara B, you may want to stay far away from this one. It’s a rom-com, therfore hijinx and wackiness will ensue). Damn, look how red this sucker is. I think it’s supposed to signify passion and not conjunctivitis (wash your hands before touching your eyes, children!). At any rate, I spent a good amount of time staring at this thing ’cause I couldn’t figure it out at first. At first glance, I thought for sure that the blond’s head was attached to the body of the poser prince behind her. I mean, look at that shit. What the hell kind of fucked up Videodrome super power is it to be able to stick your head into somebody’s body? X-RAY vision? We don’t need no steenkin’ X-ray vision! We can just stick our heads into these here bodies like so! I’m just sayin’. I also see that this woman seems to be afflicted with overly round boobies. They look soospeeshuslee furm like tennis balls. What the hell kind of outfit is she wearing anyway that her boobs aren’t covered? How could she possibly fight effectively with her stupid nipples getting in the way all the time? Perhaps she uses her nipples to distract the villains and then karate-chops them on the neck. Also, is it me or is this chick in mad need of some hot oil treatments? Man, I can see her split ends from here! That’s either a very bad wig or poser prince is wearing a skirt made of feathers. Hah-cha-cha!

Cover courtesy of Christine, y’all.

8 Responses to “Deep Red Something”

  1. Evangeline Anderson
    1

    Bam,
    I read some of this and it cracked me up. But you’re right–Barbara B probably wouldn’t like it. Also met the author, Dakota Cassidy, at the last RT. She was telling a hilarious story about wearing a tiara to prove she was the queen of sex that had us dying. You seriously need to make plans to come to the next RT and meet her.
    Oh, and you’re right. This is kinda a weird pose for the cover.If I remember correctly, this book is kinda a female James Bond who has sex all the time and gets into goofy situations.
    Heh. Evangeline
    PS–Barb B, I just sent Ceremony of Three through its final edits. So there is dark and angsty anal sex on the horizon. ; )

  2. E.D'Trix
    2

    More importantly, why doesn’t the hero have a face?

  3. Tatterdemallion
    3

    How Silence of the Lambs/Red Dragon-esque. Weird.

  4. Barbara B.
    4

    I read Changeling Press authors like mad despite the unfortunate covers but this one had me shuddering. It reminds me of the South Park episode when Mr. Slave and Paris Hilton competed to see who was the biggest slut. Mr. Slave jumped on Paris Hilton’s head and engulfed her entire body anally/rectally. It was a shocking image, animation notwithstanding. At first glance it looked like this guy was trying to join the contest. I like the Changeling Press crew but a cover like this shakes even the faithful.

    I’ve never read Dakota Cassidy despite her great reviews. Maybe my horror of romantic comedy
    needs to be faced…But not with this abomination.

    Evangeline, I’m really looking forward to that book!

  5. December Quinn
    5

    Looks like a Rorshach inkblot. Only really scary.

  6. Evangeline Anderson
    6

    Barb, I will be sure to tell you the release date as soon as I know it. And I’m working on something similar for the Ellora’s Cave Wild Winter quickies series. The title is Season’s Spankings. I bet you can guess what happens. ; )
    Evangeline

  7. Dakota Cassidy
    7

    Noooooooooo, Barb–don’t do it! Stick to your guns and AVOID at all costs, any romantic comedies. I’m not that funny and besides, it’ll singe your retina’s. LOLLOL

    And Evangeline? Good GAWD, girl–get yer stories right. Not the queen of SEX. Poo-poo. My sex is lukewarm at best. it was just an ex BQ who had her mean author friend steal her tiara.

    Do you have any idea how damaged I am? Do you have any idea how traumatizing it is to not have had a tiara in over 22 years, finally hold it in yer hands and then have someone steal the only freakin’ one you have a rats ass chance in hell of getting??? So when relaying this tale–do share my PAIN, would ya? It was brutal, I tell ya. LOL

    AND–no James Bond either–that’s a diff book. She’s a hero by default and she really sucks at it.

    Again I say, Barb–don’t do it :) We need your faith rock solid at CP.

    And thanks for the chuckle–I’m gonna to blog in your honor!

    DC :)

  8. Anne
    8

    Gak! I thought she had a sheet attached to her head somehow and that was making rippling waves, hiding his privates, only to look a little longer and closer to see it was her freaky ass spiky whispy hair. Oh, God, that was a good one. Cracked me up.

    BTW- I found this through Dakota Cassidy’s blog… she commented on you snarking her cover and I couldn’t resist checking it out. : )



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