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The Title Says it All

There’s something that’s just not right with this cover. First of all, the dude holding the baby looks like the Mad Hatter, a ridiculous Batman villain based on an Alice in Wonderland character of the same name. Like the Mad Hatter, this dude has a seriously narrow face and I bet that if you pull back his lips, it would reveal buck teeth the likes of which Bugs Bunny has never experienced, even on a bad day. He’s just not very attractive. If he were a shape-shifter, I bet his animal would be a rodent of some sort… maybe a gerbil. Why is he shirtless, anyway? I bet his ratty ass chest hair is giving that poor baby diaper rash. He also seems to be looking at the baby with desire… not sexual desire, pervs. I think he wants to eat it. That’s why he’s called the Beast… a baby-eating beast. Speaking of babies, look at that thing. IT IS HUGE! I don’t know a lot about babies, admittedly, but that thing is pretty big, isn’t it? And quite pink, if I may add. The Beast doesn’t seem to be doing a very good job of holding it, don’t you think? Babies squirm and cry, dude. Y’all, I think the Beast is about to drop the damn thing. I know it, you know it, even the baby knows it. In fact, though we can’t see the little bugger’s face, I bet he’s thinking, “Dude, just try it, Drop me and I’ll make sure you never EVER get a moment’s peace with my mom ever again.”

Thanks to Christine for this cover.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 16th, 2006 at 9:02 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

10 Responses to “The Title Says it All”

  1. meljean brook
    Posted: Oct 16th, 2006 at 10:30 am
    1

    I agree about the Mad Hatter. It’s almost uncanny.

    But the worst offense here? The pleats. Good god, man, you’re probably a gazillionaire. FLAT FRONT. And is that back fat hanging over the waistband?

  2. Lili Saintcrow
    Posted: Oct 16th, 2006 at 10:43 am
    2

    I find it amazing that he’s not supporting the baby’s head. Dude holding baby that way deserves to have baby snatched protectively from him.

    And he does look like a rodent shapeshifter, doesn’t he. Hmmm.

  3. December Quinn
    Posted: Oct 16th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
    3

    That is a big baby, like a 9 month-old, not an infant.

    I’m worried about the way his arms look like they belong to somebody else, with he overdeveloped biceps and the farmer tan. It looks Photoshopped on.

    And I think the Mad Hatter is actually rather creepy and scary.

  4. Isabella Snow
    Posted: Oct 16th, 2006 at 4:02 pm
    4

    OMG the mad hatter bit resulted in spewing tea all over myself.

    Better than p*ssing myself - which almost happened before I could stop laughing.

    All he needs is that purple hat!!

  5. Kristie (J)
    Posted: Oct 16th, 2006 at 8:14 pm
    5

    It’s just weird! The dude seems to be eyeing the big baby’s belly button in a very odd kind of way - maybe to check if it’s an innie or an outie maybe?

  6. Tatterdemallion
    Posted: Oct 16th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
    6

    Why do men holding babies on these things always have to be shirtless? Is that some sort of rule now? And where is he?- the office, a museum?

  7. Barbara B.
    Posted: Oct 17th, 2006 at 6:52 am
    7

    That baby is shockingly pink. Bubble gum pink.

  8. Anonymous
    Posted: Oct 17th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
    8

    Doesn’t that guy awkwardly holding the bald pink chicken…I mean, baby look like Alan Cumming. And what’s that brown stuff on his arm?

  9. christine
    Posted: Oct 17th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
    9

    Now that you mention it, he does remind me of Martin Short who played the Mad Hatter in the Alice in Wonderland TV movie!
    http://www.alice-in-wonderland.....ino_01.htm

  10. C.L. Young
    Posted: Oct 17th, 2006 at 5:43 pm
    10

    [QUOTE]Now that you mention it, he does remind me of Martin Short who played the Mad Hatter in the Alice in Wonderland TV movie!
    http://www.alice-in-wonderland.....tm[/QUOTE]

    Damn! That’s who I meant. Martin Short. Only the head obviously looks PhotoShopped on the body.

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