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He’s a Bad Mothafu–Shut Your Mouf!

I love Harlequin SuperRomances. I’m serious, I’ve got boxes and boxes of this stuff. You guys gotta check ‘em out. They’re a lot better written that they’re used to be and I think the writers are working very hard to make them more relevant to today’s modern woman. Yes, I typed that with a straight face. Shut up. Not that there aren’t any “secret baby” stories sprinkled in the bunch… and speaking of which, goddamn, I love those things. Anyway, this isn’t even a “secret baby” story. But it does have a baby on the cover, which made me immediately think “that baby is somebody’s secret,” but no, according to the blurb, it’s not. Well, damn. I’d been about to buy it. How much do you love the subtitle “This precious girl could be his second chance”? What the hell does that even mean? Maybe if he sacrificed the baby to the Dark Lord or something, he could go back to hell. Who knows. There’s something about the baby that creeps me out, though. Hell, all babies creep me out, but take a look at the way she’s looking at the man. She’s got this expression on her face that says, “Come closer, come closer, big boy… that’s right… come to baby…” then zzzzZZAP! Laser beams shoot out of her eyes, shoots him on the forehead, and instant lobotomy! Also, is it me or does the man’s smile look a little fake? It’s like he’s secretly thinking, “Come on… come on… smile, you little bastard… make nice for the photographer so I get my 50 bucks and get out of here.” Or he’s really thinking, “Sure… sure, I have to change your diaper. But guess who does all sorts of sexually unnatural things to your mother every night? Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh!” Or I’m thinking way too hard about this.

Thanks to the ever delightful Amber for this cover!

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 4th, 2007 at 10:07 am and is filed under Covers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

12 Responses to “He’s a Bad Mothafu–Shut Your Mouf!”

  1. Doug
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 10:22 am
    1

    Hey Bam! Good to see you lurking around my site, even if it is for some old 2005 post (how did you find that?) I’m guessing you forgot all about me until you saw my entry for Kate Rothwell’s cover snark contest.

    Anyway, best wishes for a happy, snarky New Year!

  2. Wendy
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 10:36 am
    2

    I love the HSR line too! Nice stories about nice people - which sounds dreadfully dull, but really it isn’t. Honest.

  3. shuzluva
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 10:54 am
    3

    OMG, I’m laughing so hard that I nearly just choked on a delightful wintergreen lifesaver!

    What the hell does that even mean? Maybe if he sacrificed the baby to the Dark Lord or something, he could go back to hell.

    With the crazy-man smile he’s got pasted on his mug, he is apparently aiming directly for the ninth circle. I think that baby may BE the dark lord.

    Hehehehe….I’m still laughing. Bam, you made my day.

  4. Jackie
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
    4

    Maybe if he sacrificed the baby to the Dark Lord or something, he could go back to hell.

    No, Bam — baby sacrifices are SO last year. The Dark Lord ain’t even considering them any more.

  5. rhian
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
    5

    Okay, scary baby aside, Amber… honey…. you’re start to really scare me with these covers you’re finding. No… no - I don’t think i want to know where you dig them up. I don’t know about you guys - but when i think really HOT romance, really hot story - I don’t want no freakin baby showing up in the picture. Does not compute…

  6. eggs
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
    6

    Looking at that cover, I think he’s fucked up every relationship he’s ever had, so he’s decided to raise his own wife. I bet it turns out to be one of those classic HP ward/guardian romances where he’s like her uncle until the day she turns 18, then WHAMO - it’s rumpy pumpy time.

  7. Darragha
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
    7

    Oh, my goodness, Bammie…I’ve discovered a group of people who thrive on hurting others with words. Saying they are snarks is too kind. I need you to join this forum and give them what-for. They’ve been picking on me and I need you to beat them up.

  8. Bam
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
    8

    Darragha, you can go ahead and tell them to go fuck themselves! Tell ‘em I’m the only one who can pick you… :) ’cause at least I do it in a funny way. And only with lurve. Ha ha ha.

    Don’t make me bust out my katana, girl.

  9. Darragha
    Posted: Jan 4th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
    9

    The trolls will have to do without Darragha bashing. I’m not going back there. Not even to see if they’re continuing their diatribe.

  10. rhian
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2007 at 3:20 am
    10

    GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! What slimey, scumsucking A-wipes have been picking on MY Darragha??? Point the way - let me at ‘em! I’ll show them what happens when they mess with one of mine! No REALLY - i’m serious - where are they? My claws are fully extended and ready to shred their wimpey, sorry, twisted (i’m foaming at the mouth too much to think of really REALLY bad enough words) egos and teach them a lesson. No one messes with my Goddesses.

  11. December Quinn
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2007 at 5:50 am
    11

    Yeah, where is this place?

  12. shuzluva
    Posted: Jan 5th, 2007 at 6:26 am
    12

    Darragha, you have an army of Bamites here that love you and your ability to take the snark with a smile. Ignore those assholes and keep doing what you do best!

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