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Guest Author: Roslyn Hardy Holcomb

UPDATE: The winner of Roslyn’s contest is GWEN of “The Good, the Bad, and The Unread.” Gwen, I just emailed you, girlfriend. Email me back with your info and we’ll get you all sorts of squared out. Spanks!

Roslyn Hardy Holcomb is the author of Rock Star, a sweet, clever romance about a famous musician who falls in love with a small-town woman and the pitfalls they inevitably encounter during the development of their relationship. In this article she has graciously provided for us, she candidly talks about her own process for writing a sex scene. And I have to warn ya, she gets candid. *grin*

If you leave a comment on this post, you will be entered in a contest where one winner will be randomly drawn and get an autographed copy of Rock Star. If you’ve already read Rock Star, then please enjoy this mini-sequel Roslyn has written for it. It’s free!

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Let’s Talk About (Writing) Sex

Koss continued the licking motion along the entire slit, only pausing to ask, “Is this okay?” Lola could only respond with breathless gasps, as she grabbed his hair and pressed him harder against her pussy.

That excerpt is from the first sex scene of my current work-in-progress, Try A Little Tenderness. Sex scenes are a crucial part of a romance novel, even the sweet ones that I usually write. Keep in mind, however that even though ‘steamier’ stories are quite popular these days, you can’t just plop a sex scene down into a book all willy-nilly. It has to be a part of the growth and development of the story, with a gradual orchestration and build-up. Otherwise, it’s just porn. In other words, you have to invest some time in literary foreplay. Without it the sex scene will be as dry and uninteresting as, well, actual sex without foreplay. Reading about random people sticking their wizajigget into someone else’s hoo-ha isn’t particularly appealing unless you know the story behind it. You have to let the reader see the relationship develop and understand why these people need to get horizontal so desperately. That foreplay is what I call The Grind. It is the most important part of the book. Without it the rest of the story falls flat. You could write an epic love story, the likes of which humanity has never seen, but it’ll be a wallbanger for sure if the reader is left wondering why the couple fell in love in the first place.


Once you get past the The Grind, you have to write the second most important part of the book––the first sex scene. Writing sex scenes is like most things, a lot harder than you might think. First, you have to try to come up with something new, or at least different for a reader who may well read dozens of books a month. As if that’s not enough pressure there’s the crucial issue of continuity. It would be one thing if couples stuck to missionary sex, but these days that’s a definite no-no. So you have a few issues to address, especially in terms of *ahem* male genitalia. Women’s genitals are easy, they’re internal, so they more or less stay where you put them. Men’s business on the other hand, tend to move. From a biological standpoint its all good, but when you’re blurry-eyed with exhaustion after writing for hours it can be quite tricky to keep up with them. Imagine my horror when I discovered that in least one of my (thankfully) unpublished tomes I had switched positions mid-coitus without alerting the reader. For no apparent reason his dangling body parts had gone from hitting her clit to hitting her bottom. This makes me wonder about the writers of slash fiction. I haven’t read any, but the notion of keeping track of two (or more) sets of male genitalia pretty much assures me that I won’t be venturing into that genre.

The words used to describe the various body parts is a nagging issue. Though this area is opening up somewhat, the use of ‘romance words’ for sex scenes is still an issue. This is particularly fascinating because some of the euphemisms chosen sound far more graphic than the technical or even slang terms that are in common usage. The word pussy, for instance, is not nearly as evocative as the phrase, ‘her throbbing wetness.’ Yet the slang term is still forbidden by some publishers. For the most part its not a major crisis, but it can be irritating to be told to nitpick through a whole manuscript to change your verbiage.

Then there’s the issue of vaginal secretions. Obviously this is an important harbinger of female arousal, but it has to be used judiciously. (In a story, that is. In real life, hey, they’re your secretions, use them as you like!) If mentioned too much it might indicate that our heroine is in need of medical attention, not more loving from our intrepid hero. The hero’s genitalia comes up again at this point, no pun intended. How do you describe it? After all, it is a crucial part of the scene and your reader is involved vicariously at this point, at least you hope so. Just remember, it’s not necessary that he be hung like an orca. How it looks is a lot less important than how it feels.

And that brings us back to the most important part of writing sex. It’s always about how the people involved feel, and it’s your job to show the reader that. A well-crafted sex scene will definitely get the reader’s girly (or boiey) parts all a-tingle, but the emotional connection will save your book from wallbanger status.

____________________________________________

Awesome article, Roslyn. My question for you is this: When’s your next book coming out already? *whining* Heh. Thanks for coming to visit!

The winner of Rock Star will be announced on Friday afternoon. Good luck, readers!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 11th, 2007 at 8:24 pm and is filed under Guest Author. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

28 Responses to “Guest Author: Roslyn Hardy Holcomb”

  1. Catherine
    Posted: Jul 11th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
    1

    Verbage in books is definately important to me. The wrong word used in a romantic or sexual scene can really ruin it for me. I don’t enjoy flowery descriptions, but really vulgar descriptions jar me too. I’m picky I guess.

  2. Tumperkin
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 3:36 am
    2

    Great article Roslyn. I was interested in the comments you make about publishers’ attitude to a word like ‘pussy’ instead of something typical of romance novels like ‘throbbing wetness’. I must admit that my eyes would just drift over a term like ‘throbbing wetness’. It’s so prevalent that it has no impact on me at all. Whereas the use of the word ‘pussy’ in your short excerpt was really startling to me (not, I hasten to add, in a bad way).

    Many sex scenes in romantic novels read like a hundred others. That, of course, is unavoidable to some degree. But I agree with you that writers should at least try to come up with something new. As a reader, that is something that I really appreciate. It doesn’t need to be something fantastically weird, even just using an unexpected word can be really powerful, as I think your own excerpt shows.

  3. Bonnie Dee
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 6:12 am
    3

    Thanks for addressing the need for sexual tension and build-up and, by God, an actual relationship beyond the sex! I’m for all of these things, and too often see them short-changed in lieu of more, more, more sex, ad nauseum. It’s not sexy or interesting as you say to see tab A go into slot B. Foreplay is everything! *end of rant*

    I agree that orchestrating the moves in a love scene can be very difficult. Right up there with choreographing a fight scene.

    I love your story’s premise, the fantasy of a big name rock god falling for a small town girl. Sounds wonderful to me.

  4. Bonnie Dee
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 6:18 am
    4

    Hey, I finally got this Gravatar thing worked out. Just leaving a quick message to see if it works correctly.

  5. shuzluva
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 6:36 am
    5

    Roslyn, your article had me snorting water at this:

    Then there’s the issue of vaginal secretions. […] If mentioned too much it might indicate that our heroine is in need of medical attention, not more loving from our intrepid hero.

    Too true! How many times have I read about a heroine that seems to be…uh, having a problem with the water works rather than succumbing to excitement? Too many!

    The issue of continuity sometimes has me scratching my head. When I have to go back and re-read the beginning of a sex scene because I can’t figure out how the characters got into the position they’re in it’s a problem and yanks me right out of the story.

    Thank you also, for bringing up the importance of verbal foreplay. Lack of that build-up leaves me cold every time. I’ve found that the stronger the tension and excitement, the better the payoff.

  6. April
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 6:59 am
    6

    Ah, yes. The dilemma of choosing between “pussy” and “throbbing wetness” … sounds a bit like choosing between the kitty cat and the blob. Into which shall our intrepid hero insert himself? Love it! :)

  7. kardis
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 7:46 am
    7

    Great article, it was really interesting! I would rather read the word “pussy” over most of the more flowery descriptions any day. Mostly because a lot of those bring to mind rather unpleasant and/or hilarious images. Hard to appreciate a good sex scene when I’m laughing so hard I can’t read!

  8. Gwen
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 7:52 am
    8

    We can always depend on Bam’s blog to bring us something interesting!

    This was actually fascinating to read! Thanks for sharing the process, Roslyn!

  9. Jaime
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 8:54 am
    9

    What a great article. As a avid reader flowery prose does not do it for me…as a matter of fact it usually pisses me off..it says to me the author couldn’t think of anything better to write so the fluff stuff was used. I would rather be jarred by “pussy” than her star of venus (believe it or not I read that in a book once.).

  10. SweetNSourGirl
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 8:55 am
    10

    Wow, that was an insightful article. It’s hard to say what I’m looking for when a sex scene arrives in a story. Entertainment? Maybe, but by the time that scene comes I hope I’m connected with the characters and I’ve had more than a few school girl giggles. I also want to cheer for their relationship and all that fun stuff.

    “The Grind” as you called it so tenderly, is probably the best part. I love it when writers put a little bit of humor (or something I haven’t seen before)into it. Whenever that happens, I WILL remember that scene for a long time.

  11. Kimberly
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 10:33 am
    11

    Thanks for such a fascinating read, Roslyn! Clearly writing an engaging sex scene is more challenging than most people know!
    I’m wondering how publishers feel about the word “wizajiggit” LOL.

  12. Roslyn
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 11:10 am
    12

    Good grief Kimberly, don’t give them any ideas! ‘Star of Venus?’ Please tell me this was fantasy or at least satire?

    Shuzluva, that continuity thing can cause all types of unintended humor.

    Bonnie Dee, apt comparison. I’ve never actually written a fight scene, so that one didn’t occur to me. I kept thinking of a minuet. *sorry*

  13. Selene
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 11:46 am
    13

    Really, you can’t use “pussy” in Romance novels? (Clearly, I read too much erotic romance when I forage into the genre. *cough*) So, I have to ask, what _do_ you call it if you don’t want to go with the purple descriptions?

    Selene

  14. Teresa W.
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 11:48 am
    14

    Enjoyed the excerpt today and Rock Star sounds good!

  15. Bettie
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
    15

    Great post Roslyn!

    It’s always about how the people involved feel, and it’s your job to show the reader that.

    D’ya mind if I get that engraved on a plaque? I never thought of it before, but that pretty much sums up my problem with purple prose. No matter how wet or throbbing they get, no woman alive has ever thought of her ladyparts as her “throbbing wetness”.

    Which brings up a question. How do you feel about “cock”? The word, I mean. It seems to get a lot of play these days in romance novels, but I don’t know many straight guys who primarily use “cock” to refer to their equipment. My straight girl and gay boy friends? Oh lordy, yes, it’s “cock this” and “cock that.” But straight guys? Not as much. So it’s always a little jarring to read “cock” used as the only noun in scenes written from a man’s POV. OTH, women seem to prefer it.

  16. Amy S.
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
    16

    Great article Roslyn!

  17. Cherie J
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
    17

    Enjoyed the interview and excerpt! I personally like an emphasis on the relationship more than the sex. If you are just focusing on the sex in the story and not developing your characters than it will not be really meaty to me.

  18. Jaime
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
    18

    Roslyn: “Good grief Kimberly, don’t give them any ideas! ‘Star of Venus?’ Please tell me this was fantasy or at least satire?”

    No, really, this a straight up romance, I won’t say who, but yep, “star of venus” killed me for days!!! =]

  19. Josie
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
    19

    Great post Roslyn!
    I agree that the lead up to the sex is so important. If there’s no sexual tension between the characters beforehand, how can you believe that it’s really hot for them when they’re actually having sex? I read a book last week where a human woman and a werewolf male were magically pre-destined ‘Chosen’ mates, and they “had” to sleep together because of it. Apparently they had awesome sex (so the author tells me) but I really didn’t buy it because there was no other build up. So disappointing!
    Oh and one word I hope I never hear again to describe, ahem, feminine wetness? Cream. Just icky.

  20. Jambrea
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
    20

    I enjoyed your article. I’ve been writing for a little while now, but I always have difficulty with the sex scene!!

  21. Kaitlin
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
    21

    Okay, I’m keeping this article for my own personal use. I know as an aspiring writer that I’ve always had trouble getting the love scene to sound right. Sure, it might look good when I’m first getting it down on paper, but afterwards, I’ve usually screwed something up. :)

    Do you do anything to get yourself in the mood (so to speak)? I’m always curious about this because I’ve heard of so many different techniques from so many different authors. I’d really like to know.

    Thanks! :D

  22. Kaitlin
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
    22

    Oy…that sounded funny when I read it again.

    I meant to say what do you do to get yourself into the mood to right love scenes? (end clarification).

    Thank you much! :)

  23. Roslyn
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
    23

    Kaitlin, I understood you. For me, this is why The Grind is so important. Its been my experience that once you’ve spent the time with the characters falling in love the scene almost writes itself. I don’t mean that in any kind of ‘airy fairy’ kind of way. Just that, as the characters evolve, you’ve got a pretty good idea of what they’d be like together. Like in my current WIP, my hero is a virgin. Not only that, he’s very inexperienced as well. It only seems reasonable that as they go along he’d ask if he was doing things right. It fits his character, and, to me, its sexy as hell.

    And that comes to a key point; it has to be sexy to me. If it doesn’t get my girly parts all tingly, it probably won’t do anything for the reader either. I don’t usually do anything in particular to get ready to write a sex scene. For my first book, the sex scene is the first thing I wrote. (And no, I don’t recommend that anyone else write a book this way––its excrutiating.)

  24. Roslyn
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
    24

    Bettie, I don’t really mind the word, ‘cock.’ I definitely prefer it to the ‘member,’ and whatever other euphemisms folks have dreamed up. But oddly enough, I really, really like the word penis. I don’t understand why it seems to strike fear in so many people’s hearts, but I think its a perfectly lovely word. Most of the guys I know use it, so it wouldn’t be odd for a character to do so. But it really depends on the character. At least one of mine would be far more comfortable with ‘cock,’ and another would probably come up with some stupid nickname for it. (He’s bent that way, and I can’t change him, he won’t let me!)

    Selene, its gradually changing, but at one time, slang words for genitalia were not permissible.

  25. Shannon
    Posted: Jul 12th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
    25

    I tend to lean toward slash romance myself, so I found it a bit surprising that some people have trouble keeping track of the male parts during the scene, because I seem to have no problem. I just seem to be unable to not describe things in extreme detail…

    Trying to find words to describe parts is really my biggest issue. I have little trouble with guys (I lean toward cock, erection, penis), though when I read things like member and (once) love staff I tend to giggle. A lot. Women are my trouble. For some reason I just cant find words I like to describe the genitalia. Which is why I seem to be writing slash…

    The comment about how publishers react to slang words is something I found pretty interesting. I wouldnt have thought it would be such an issue, since it is such a common thing in everyday speech and suchlike.

  26. LadyZini
    Posted: Jul 13th, 2007 at 1:11 am
    26

    Great article. I agree with you that the relationship is more important than “random people sticking their wizajigget into someone else’s hoo-ha” :-) I’ve been reading romances since the 80s (Is my age showing?) and what you remember when 100s of romances a year, is the characters and their relationship.

  27. LadyZini
    Posted: Jul 13th, 2007 at 1:55 am
    27

    Gremlins at work again!! :-D

    The last sentence should read “what you remember when you read 100s of romances a year, is the characters and their relationship.”

  28. Gwen
    Posted: Jul 13th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
    28

    Whee!! and SQUEEE! I won!

    Thanks, Bam! And thanks, Roslyn! I’m looking forward to this book!

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