Guilty Pleasure #1

This day started out just like any other day: I woke up early in the morning, fulfilled my daily 1000-word quota, then headed for the lake by my house for a jog. I was sitting in my car, enjoying the rush of endorphins coursing through my body courtesy of the so-called runner’s high, when it struck me: this totally intense craving for the most disgusting food item on the planet— Taco Bell’s Meximelt. I grabbed my bag of baby carrots and shoved about four or five into my mouth, but they didn’t help satiate the gnawing hunger I felt deep in my stomach. I couldn’t fight it. So it is today, with a heavy heart, that I proclaimed it The One Day of the Year When I Eat a Taco Bell Meximelt.

As I bit into the cheesy, gooey, fake-meat goodness, I could only feel shame… and hear the resounding voice of my mother in my head, “It will only go straight to your thighs!” And yet… I also feel slightly wicked. Like I’m doing something very bad… and it is awesome

I don’t normally eat fast food. Okay, that’s a TOTAL lie: I am a starving student AND writer— I can’t afford anything else but fast food. But I’ve always tried to avoid Taco Bell and have been successful in the past. The fake cheese, the just-add-water meat, the pathetically wilted lettuce-like things… oh so good. And disgusting. But one day of the year, I weaken—weaken, I tell you!— and indulge this dirty, dirty urge. Oh, the shame. Oh, the nutritional facts!

290 calories! 7 grams of fat! 16 grams of fat! If the 7 16 grams were cocaine, do you have any idea how much cocaine that is? Good thing it also comes with explosive diarrhea. That ought to fix things.

So, what food item is totally disgusting to you, but you can’t help but eat anyway?

[Source: Nutrion Data]

24 Responses to “Guilty Pleasure #1”

  1. Carolyn Jean
    1

    This is hilarious. But I was reading this thinking, oh, 7 grams isn’t so bad. Isn’t like a buscuit from KFC around 30 grams? (Stay away from that buscuit! It’s the most alarming fast food on the planet.)

    HOWEVER, upon careful inspection of the label, I see your little treat actually had 16 GRAMS of FAT! Only 7 was sat fat, but it’s not like that other fat is doing nothing. I’m all for good fats, but is anything in there good fat?

    That said, I’m a simple girl. I go for your classic for French Fries. And once in a while, TOTCHOs, which are deep fried tater tots smothered in cheesy goodness that this one local bar makes.

  2. wendy
    2

    The whopper from Burger King? Disgusting yet so delicious. At least I only eat ONCE a year.. hmm, I think it’s time I pay BK a little visit.

  3. JaimeK
    3

    I love this post….the picture is hilarious!!!

    Deep fried okra with ranch sauce.

    Red Robin’s steak french fries smothered in campfire sauce.

    Deep fried lumpia like only mama can make.

    Okay, the theme apparently is anything deep fried! Ugh, I feel bloated just thinking about it!

    Oh, just thought of another one that fits my theme..the bloomin’ onion at Outback that is something like 2200 calories and the fat, holy crap, I don’t think I can even imagine the amount of fat in it….uh, I am sick, gotta go…

    Peace.

  4. bam
    4
    Author Comment

    HOWEVER, upon careful inspection of the label, I see your little treat actually had 16 GRAMS of FAT!

    Thanks, CJ. Corrected it. Apparently, fat content makes one stupid and illiterate as well. :D

    I was so hungry. Nom-nom-nom.

  5. shuzluva
    5

    I second Carolyn’s first statement, and I feel your shame and glee at eating something that should never have been created.

    I have a whole list of truly guilty pleasures. Chocolate doesn’t count…because let’s face it, I will eat chocolate no matter what, and hey, it isn’t terrible. Not terrible like:

    Wendy’s Spicy Chicken sandwich with a Frosty

    Burger King’s sausage breakfast biscuit with those mini hash browns (the cheesy tots scare me; I look at them and can feel my bowels move)

    General Tso’s Chicken and Pork Fried Rice

    I could keep going, but wow…that is a shitload of fat and calories, and I’m still working off the baby weight!

  6. Katie Ann
    6

    Wendy’s fries dipped in Frosty…yessss, so very tasty.

    And the McDonald’s near us used to have Big Macs 2/$3, and DH and I can eat like bears preparing for hibernation and would each get two, now I feel guilty eating even one.

  7. limecello
    7

    Haha - I feel the same way - only… I don’t even work out. *hangs head in shame.* I haven’t had taco bell in over a year, and I only went because a friend dragged me for our lunch date. I think I’ve had taco bell 3 times in the past 6 years. Fast food is my guilty pleasure. I can’t stay away from chipotle. I’ve had it twice in the past 2 months. Fries, however, are my biggest weakness. It doesn’t matter if they’re “pomme frites” at a 5 star, or just from Mickey D’s. I love fries. I crave fries. I know they’re death in the form of a stick (or round, if waffle fries) but I love them. I’ve loved them all my life and can’t live without them. I probably have fries 2-3 times a month. Ack.

  8. azteclady
    8

    eeeekkkkk!!!

    Taco Hell? How could you, bam, how could you?

    ::sob::

    ::wail::

    ::sniff::

    Guilty pleasure: Sabritones. Deep fried wheat chips covered in fake chili and lemon powder. And yes, it all goes to my thighs.

    Bliss, obviously.

  9. MaryKate
    9

    Mmmm, Baskin Robins Mint Chocolate Chip Shakes. Sooo, delicious.

    Also, Outback’s Cheese fries.

    Also, Whole Foods’ chocolate eclairs.

    Also, the chicken nuggets from Chik-Fil-A — with Polynesian sauce.

  10. bam
    10
    Author Comment

    Wait, Whole Foods has chocolate eclairs?

    *calculating mile-to-calorie ratio*

    I’m sooooo there.

    Guilty pleasure: Sabritones. Deep fried wheat chips covered in fake chili and lemon powder. And yes, it all goes to my thighs.

    Azteclady, that sounds disgusting. Obvs, I have to get some.

  11. azteclady
    11

    Just don’t go blaming me when you become addicted :wink:

  12. bettie
    12

    Speaking as a woman whose dinner last night consisted of Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles followed by a Guinness Extra Stout & Chocolate Ice Cream Float (it’s good, really!) I can say, I know all about guilty food pleasures.

    Butter is my favorite food group. Bacon is my favorite condiment. Soul Food is my raison d’ĂȘtre. And then there’s this Sichuan dish called “Fried Salty Pork”…

    I do tend to turn up my nose at fast food, but about twice a year I get a craving for Taco Bell Taco Supreme.

    But, you know, moderation and all that…Yeah, right.

  13. JaimeK
    13

    It sounds resoundingly as if the deep fat frier was the worst invention ever to hit the world!!!

  14. Lorelie
    14

    McDonald’s McSkillet burritos, ’cause that’s what I can get. But I think I might be willing to do bodily harm for some Green Burrito.

  15. Ann Bruce
    15

    My tummy is quivering in horror.

  16. Jill Sorenson
    16

    Jack in the Box tacos. Heard it’s kangaroo meat. You can get four for $2.

  17. Jill Sorenson
    17

    My husband eats deep fried pork skins with hot sauce and lime juice. Just thought I’d throw him under the bus while we’re at it.

  18. limecello
    18

    Actually, my newest one? Cannoli’s. Beyond delicious.

  19. Randi
    19

    My Whole Foods does not have chocolate eclairs. That is entirely unfair. *grumble*

    I have only one thing to say: fried twinkie on a stick. OMG, so good, so delicious, so terribly ridiculously bad for you…but once a year, at the MN State Fair, I indulge. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

  20. shuzluva
    20

    OH MY! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT CHICK-FIL-A! That’s because I rarely see it let alone get to eat it. That chicken sandwich with the pickle and waffle fries may be my all-time favorite fast food meal…except their breakfast chicken biscuit. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM….I wish there was one here now.

  21. shuzluva
    21

    Oh, and the hubster? He has the world’s fastest metabolism and actually loves to work out. So he can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants. I secretly hate him.

  22. MaryKate
    22

    Actually, I usually have to call the bakery at Whole Foods sometimes and order the eclairs. But it’s puff pastry cut in half with BOTH whipped cream and custard on the bottom, then the top of the puff pastry, topped with chocolate. It’s beyond messy, but so freakin’ delicious. It’s the one food that even if you were a small starving child from Ethiopia, I still wouldn’t share.

  23. Shannon
    23

    Well, before I had to switch to a gluten free diet, my gross guilty pleasure was the two cheesburger meal from McDonalds. omg, yum!

    Nowadays, I love really gooey, stinky cheese. It smells so gross, but tastes so good. The other one that sounds gross, but it amazingly good, is the Mo’s Bacon Bar. It is a chocolate bar made by Vosges that has milk chocolate, applewood smoked bacon, and smoked salt. Oh baby, it’s good.

  24. Mina
    24

    I’m so late at posting this but I need to say this…

    Little Debbie Cake Snacks.



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