Would you read a book called The Unfeasibly Tall Greek Billionaire’s Blackmailed Martyr-Complex Secretary Mistress Bride?

From Tumperkin’s blog:

There will be 6 chapters in all and I’ve got some people *tentatively* lined up to do a chapter. If you want to play - let me know.

These are the rules:-

1. Each chapter will be posted on the blog of that chapter’s author (if wished), and here at my place. Each chapter will appear on a weekly basis (though not necessarily exactly 7 days after the last one)

2. Each chapter must contain a minimum of three elements from the title. For example, chapter 1 establishes *unfeasibly tall*, *greek billionaire*, *martyr-complex* and *secretary*.

3. Max 750 words per chapter. (Vague story outline set out after chapter 1).

4. Pastiche category-romance feel please. No surprise vampires.

5. You get one point for every time:

- Molly indulges her martyr complex
- Nico mentions his belief that Molly’s a whore
- Nico cuts Molly off mid-sentence
- You make a reference to the global hummus industry

6. You get ten points for every time you use one of the following phrases

- To her consternation, Molly’s nipples hardened
- What was the point? Nico never believed her!
- He came, roaring his pleasure

Let me know if you want to play. Now: sit back and enjoy chapter 1.

Chapter 1

Molly Ordinary tried to ignore the sounds of slurping behind her. She doggedly typed on, concentrating on the sound of Nico Lefkas’ husky voice coming through her earphones and trying to ignore the real-life Nico, who was currently making out with Sasha Bitch, his supermodel girlfriend in the doorway of her office.

“Nico, you’re such a stud,” Sasha giggled in her breathless-sex-kitten voice and Molly gritted her teeth, suppressing a curse as she realised she had misspelt “chick peas” for third time in five minutes.

Nico laughed and the slurping started again. It was several minutes before Nico spoke.

“I’ve got to go, Sasha” he drawled. “I need to be at the airport in thirty minutes. I’m flying to Athens in my luxury private jet for a global hummus conference. ”

“Oh Nico!” Sasha pouted. “Well, call me as soon as you get back.”

The click-clack of stiletto heels told Molly that Sasha had left, but she had no intention of turning round. She wouldn’t be able to stand the self-satisfied smile on Nico’s face.

She typed on, frowning with concentration. She was trying to complete a pie chart illustrating global hummus consumption patterns when Nico drew her earphones off and whispered in her ear, “Well, Miss Ordinary, have you finished typing up my talk yet?”

His hot breath on her ear made her jump. She hadn’t realised he had gotten so close. To her consternation, Molly’s nipples hardened. She didn’t dare look round. Instead she stared at the pie chart. Did they really eat that much hummus in Austria? It seemed a lot.

“I’m almost finished, Mr Lefkas” she said, trying to sound cool and capable . I’m just working on the Powerpoint presenta-”

“Almost?” Nico snapped, walking round her chair to face her. Molly looked up. And up. At six foot five inches, Nico towered over her - and everyone else. His black eyes were blazing, his big, toned body taut with anger. To her consternation, Molly’s nipples hardened.

“Almost isn’t good enough, Miss Ordinary. I don’t know where your concentration has gone lately, but this isn’t acceptable! I have to leave for the conference in ten minutes!”

Molly felt like pointing out that he’d only given her the talk to type up half an hour ago, but what was the point? Nico never listened to excuses. She stared at Nico’s pin-striped crotch, just inches from her fingers which still rested on her keyboard.

“I - I’m sorry, Mr Lefkas - it’s just that - ”

“I don’t want to hear excuses Miss Ordinary. There’s only one thing for it. You’ll have to come to the conference with me. You can finish the Powerpoint presentation in Athens.”

“Can’t you finish it yourself? There’s only a few more slides to - ”

“Absolutely not. I haven’t the faintest idea how to operate a computer. Why do you think I employ you?”

“I’m sorry, Mr Lefkas. I - I can’t come with you. I have other plans for this weekend. I’ve got to -”

“Let me guess: you have plans to engage in a range of sordid sex acts with a variety of men you barely know. Frankly, Miss Ordinary, your plans do not concern me. You will cancel your plans. This is the most important hummus-industry conference of the year and I am the keynote speaker. I need you to be there.”

Molly gritted her teeth. Typical. As usual, Nico assumed that she would be spending her weekend in bed. He was determined to think the worst of her. In fact she was a virgin, and her weekend plans involved volunteering at the children’s hospice. Not that Nico would ever believe that. There was no point trying to convince him otherwise. He was convinced she was a tramp.

“Fine,” she snapped. “But I expect to be paid time and a half.”

“You’re a tough negotiator, Miss Ordinary” Nico said, his voice tinged with grudging respect. “Be ready to leave in five minutes.”

Nico strode to the door, then turned.

“Oh, and one other thing,”

Molly looked up.

“I need you to pretend to be my fiancée.”

To her consternation, Molly’s nipples hardened.

You can find Chapter Two here and Chapter Three here.

This entry was posted on Friday, April 11th, 2008 at 10:27 pm and is filed under Promo & Pimpage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.